Saturday, May 16, 2009

No two ways about it

Soccer may be the most straightforward game around: score more goals than your opponent after 90 minutes, and you win. Its simplicity, and goals, saves, tackles and emotions make us return to the game week after week, but a subtler action draws an interesting case study in logic.

It is less noticeable than a lobbed Alonso goal or a diving Cech save, but notice the pre-match habit many players have of touching the grass and tracing the sign of the cross, when they enter the pitch.

Ostensibly, both teams' players are calling for blessings from above, most probably for their team to win the match. A simple petition to their god, it makes sense individually. But when we see both sides' players cross it up, it becomes a logical contradiction.

In a team with 11 players and thousands more fans, each side has more than its fair share seeking divine help. To pray for and celebrate -- in a religious manner as players like Kaka do -- the success of their team is simply an impossibility, as the result can only go one way: failure or victory.

Simply put, the request of both sets of players and fans can never be granted by any deity. For no being can simultaneously fulfil the prayers of both Liverpool and Chelsea when they play each other! To grant one team victory would be to wholly reject the pleas of their opposition; on what grounds would any divine being to do that?

Kaka's 'raised hands celebration' makes matters more complicated. For all the players who hail their god when they score, the most glaring problem is that it's only done when winning.

Everytime he puts the ball in the back of the net, the much-desired one will see it as divine endorsement, and acknowledge his maker. But that mandate would evaporate the instant an opponent scores!

The only way for a religious plea or celebration to legitimately take place is if it is done win, lose or draw.

The job is now for the likes of Kaka to raise his fingers heavenward when AC Milan loses, thanking his god for say, teaching him things the hard way, or showing him that defeat is an important part of life!